From Financial Avoidance to Confidence: How to Take Charge of Your Money Flow

“The person who doesn’t know where their next pound is coming from usually doesn’t know where their last pound went.” – Unknown

The idea of creating an organised system for keeping track of your finances can feel daunting, especially for those impacted by ADHD or who experience anxiety around money matters. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the thought of budgeting, tracking expenses, or even opening your mail, you are not alone.

I understand. Many of my wonderful clients avoid their finances not because they are necessarily behind, but because they fear the unknown or unexpected surprises. That fear can lead to avoidance, which in turn creates more anxiety—a vicious cycle that keeps them feeling disempowered around money.

If you find yourself burying your head in the sand when it comes to your finances, read on. By shifting your mindset and implementing simple habits, you can take back control and create financial clarity.

Let’s explore four key principles that can help you build a better relationship with money:

Money likes to be managed
Money flows in and out
How you do money is how you do everything
Knowing where money is coming from and going puts you at the helm

By unpicking each of these ideas, you can begin to reflect on them as a foundation for a more confident financial future.

1. Money Likes to Be Managed

If money were a person, she would want to be acknowledged, organised, and treated with care. Imagine her as the best employee in your business or the most supportive friend in your life—loyal, resourceful, and eager to please. But just like any relationship, if you ignore or neglect her, she will become unpredictable, disorganised, and difficult to work with.

Think of money as energy. When you respect it, pay attention to it, and give it direction, it responds positively. If you’ve been avoiding your finances, it’s time to start managing your money with intention.

Practical Ways to Start Managing Your Money

Check in with your finances regularly. Set a weekly or bi-weekly “money date” with yourself. Light a candle, make a cup of tea, and review your income and expenses in a calm, stress-free setting.
Use a simple system. If traditional budgeting apps feel overwhelming, start with a basic spreadsheet or a notebook where you track your money in and out. The key is to make it easy and doable for you.
Give every pound a purpose. When you assign a role to your money—whether for bills, savings, or enjoyment—you reduce uncertainty and increase confidence.

The best business advice I ever received was from a shamanic healer, who suggested treating my business like a person. I learned to feel into its energy, listen to what it needed, and trust my intuition when making decisions. The same approach works for money: when you build a relationship with it and manage it well, it supports you in return.

2. Money Flows In and Out

Many people treat money with a sense of scarcity, fearing that when they spend it, they are losing it forever. But money is meant to flow—it’s a cycle, not a one-way street.

Think about the ocean. The tide goes out, but it always comes back in. Money follows the same rhythm. It moves through your life, and the key is to ensure that you are allowing it to flow freely rather than hoarding it in fear or spending recklessly without awareness.

Reframing Your Perspective on Spending and Earning

Spending is not losing. Instead of feeling guilty about spending, see it as an exchange. Whether you’re paying for groceries, investing in your business, or treating yourself, money is circulating and creating value.
Opportunities for income are everywhere. If you constantly tell yourself that money is hard to come by, your brain will seek evidence to confirm that belief. Shift your mindset to see that new financial opportunities can appear in unexpected ways.
Trust the flow. Just because money leaves doesn’t mean it won’t return. When you adopt an abundant mindset, you open yourself up to receiving more.

A helpful exercise is to track not just your spending, but also unexpected income. Did you receive a refund, a discount, or a surprise gift? Acknowledging these moments trains your brain to recognise financial flow rather than just financial loss.

3. How You Do Money Is How You Do Everything

Your relationship with money often mirrors other areas of your life. If you’re disorganised with money, you may find that you struggle with structure in other areas, such as time management or self-care. If you tend to avoid financial matters, you might also avoid other difficult conversations or responsibilities.

The way you handle money reflects deeper patterns, and by shifting your financial habits, you can positively impact multiple areas of your life.

Common Money Patterns and Their Parallels

Avoidance: If you avoid checking your bank balance, you might also avoid dealing with uncomfortable emotions or conflicts in relationships.
Impulsivity: If you frequently make unplanned purchases, you may also find yourself saying yes to things without considering their long-term impact.
Control Issues: If you feel the need to control every penny, you might also struggle to surrender control in other areas of your life, such as trusting others or allowing spontaneity.

By bringing awareness to these patterns, you can begin to create new habits that support both financial and personal growth.

Simple Shifts to Build Financial Awareness

Pause before spending. Ask yourself: “Does this align with my values?”
Create structure. A financial routine (like a money date) can help you stay on top of things without feeling overwhelmed.
Practice self-compassion. If you’ve made past financial mistakes, acknowledge them as learning experiences rather than failures.

When you begin treating money with the same care and attention as other important aspects of your life, you’ll notice a shift in confidence and control.

4. Knowing Where Money Comes From and Goes Puts You at the Helm

One of the most empowering things you can do for your financial wellbeing is to take full ownership of where your money comes from and where it goes. When you have a clear picture of your financial landscape, you move from a place of uncertainty to one of control.

Why Tracking Your Money Matters

Imagine sailing a boat. If you don’t know where you are or where you’re heading, you’re at the mercy of the waves. But when you chart your course, adjust your sails, and navigate consciously, you take control of your financial direction.

Tracking does not mean restricting—it means understanding.

When you track your income and expenses, you gain clarity, reduce financial anxiety, and make more confident decisions.

Easy Ways to Track Your Money Without Overwhelm

Start small. If tracking every expense feels overwhelming, begin with just one category, like food or subscriptions.
Use a method that works for you. Some people love budgeting apps, while others prefer writing things down. The best system is the one you’ll stick to.
Make it a habit. Checking in on your finances for even 5–10 minutes a day can create massive clarity over time.

The simple act of paying attention to your money—without judgement—puts you in the driver’s seat. Over time, this awareness leads to better choices, reduced stress, and a sense of empowerment.

Final Thoughts: Your Money, Your Power

Avoidance, fear, and overwhelm around money can feel heavy, but they don’t have to define your financial future. By shifting your perspective and adopting simple, sustainable habits, you can move from financial uncertainty to clarity and confidence.

To recap:

✅ Money likes to be managed—nurture your relationship with it.
✅ Money flows in and out—trust the cycle.
✅ How you do money is how you do everything—awareness creates change.
✅ Knowing where money comes from and goes puts you in control.

Your financial journey is not about perfection—it’s about progress. By taking small, consistent steps, you can create a financial system that supports you rather than stresses you.

So, where will you start today? Perhaps setting up a money date, tracking one area of spending, or simply shifting your mindset around financial flow?

The power is in your hands. 💛